Concerns for the Heartbeat Climate are rising as scientists release new data regarding the declining population of Backpage members. There are now only three current Backpage members in 2025, which represents a decrease of approximately 23.33% compared to 2024. The mean age of members has also increased to 16.78 years old. This is a result of a lack of new backpagers, as there have not been newcomers in 2025 thus far. Given that the lifespan of the average Backpager is exactly 4 years, scientists in the field have predicted that Backpage will be extinct by 2027. Although not much is known about the elusive creature, especially in recent years, some theories have emerged; One unpopular hypothesis blames the extinction on natural selection, claiming that the Backpage is an inferior section and that its fading out is necessary for the health of the Heartbeat as a whole. But, as the majority of respected scientists recognize the Backpage as the apex of its environment, it is largely rejected in favor of the much more reasonable idea that there is a global conspiracy of some sort against comedy writing. Recent statistics show that mysterious figures lurk in the shadows and plot devious plots to sabotage the Backpage’s efforts in bettering the world. There is not much information about the figures’ identities or motives, but, based on existing press releases and scholarly articles, it can be extrapolated that they are a formidable opponent, and the longer they are allowed to fester in darkness, the more formidable they will become. The scientific community has initiated promising initiatives to subdue the evildoers using booby traps, invisible ink, and secret spies, but it is uncertain whether they will be successful. Everyday people can help in the fight to save the Backpage from extinction by joining, encouraging their friends to join, and giving to the newly formed Adopt a Backpager Program. Donors will receive a commemorative t-shirt, a picture of the Backpager that they adopted, and a certificate congratulating them for helping the cause.