At SHP, grades don’t stay on papers for long. They travel quickly — from student to student, classroom to classroom — turning individual learning into a public competition.
Grade comparison is deeply normalized at SHP, particularly after major assessments and when stress levels are high among students. Magnolia Stryker ‘28 says that students always “ask each other what they scored right after tests.” Stryker says that this behavior isn’t driven by curiosity, but rather by a “kind of validation.” Rather than reflecting on their own understanding, students use others’ scores as a benchmark for success. Stryker admits that when thinking about her academic performance in school, she often compares her grades to those of other students, feeling “a little bit better when [she] performs better than a student,” and “worse when [she] gets a bit lower grade” than her peers. When students compare grades, grades become emotional rather than academic, gaining meaning from how they rank against others instead of what they reveal about learning. What hurts students is not always the grade they receive, but the way their grade is immediately compared, ranked, and used to define not just their ability, but also their worth.
The culture surrounding grades is harmful because it prioritizes comparison over genuine learning. Jorge Reyes, Assistant Principal of Curriculum and Academics at SHP, explains that many students “use grades as their only way of measuring intelligence and success,” giving grades far more weight than they deserve. Reyes says that he has noticed his students compare themselves to others, which often results in feeling “discouraged and kind of shut down,” especially when students feel they are falling behind their peers. While grades can sometimes motivate students, they can also discourage students, shifting their focus from learning to judgment. When students compare themselves to peers and believe they are falling behind, they can see mistakes as proof of failure, rather than opportunities for growth. It is important to note that grades are not the whole story. Reyes emphasizes that grades measure only “one metric” of a student’s performance and fail to capture “effort, collaboration, leadership, and personal improvement.” When students focus solely on how they rank in grades, these essential elements of learning are overlooked. Grade comparison undermines meaningful learning, creating a school culture that prioritizes performance over development and growth.
Beyond undermining learning, grade comparison has serious consequences for students’ mental health. Mrs. Brooke Clark, SHP Personal Counselor, explains that grades often become “tied to students’ sense of self-worth.” She said that constant comparison can increase stress and potentially “ruin friendships,” while promoting a level of competitiveness that is not always healthy for students. When students rely on grades to feel good about themselves, Clark says students may begin to feel “smart” or “not enough” based on a single number—a number that is not meant to determine students’ self-worth.
Grade comparison has become so deeply ingrained in the culture at SHP that it often goes unquestioned, despite the harm it causes. Comparing grades shifts student focus away from growth and toward competition, tying self-worth to how students rank relative to others. While grades measure only a slim aspect of a student’s growth, they are often treated as the defining factor of success. If SHP hopes to foster a healthier and more supportive environment, students must be more mindful of comparison and begin valuing learning, effort, and well-being over a letter or number.
The next time you ask someone what grade they got or how they did, consider what you are really asking.
